Great answer to a hard Question

Are you Santa?

I have long struggled with how to answer this question and this year my 13 yr old son came right out and said he doesn't believe in Santa.  He was being surly and curtish but truthful none the less.  A few days later he told us he regrets saying it but now I am wondering how best to turn this into a better moment, a moment of understanding and not just one of too bad you don't believe cause now you don't get a filled stocking on Christmas morning.

I came across this post while surfing around the internet today and feel like it suits my situation. 

You asked a very good question: “Are you Santa?”
I know you’ve wanted the answer to this question for a long time, and I’ve had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.

The answer is no. I am not Santa. There is no one Santa.

I am the person who fills your stockings with presents, though. I also choose and wrap the presents under the tree, the same way my mom did for me, and the same way her mom did for her. (And yes, Daddy helps, too.)

I imagine you will someday do this for your children, and I know you will love seeing them run down the stairs on Christmas morning. You will love seeing them sit under the tree, their small faces lit with Christmas lights.

This won’t make you Santa, though.

Santa is bigger than any person, and his work has gone on longer than any of us have lived. What he does is simple, but it is powerful. He teaches children how to have belief in something they can’t see or touch.

It’s a big job, and it’s an important one. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe: in yourself, in your friends, in your talents and in your family. You’ll also need to believe in things you can’t measure or even hold in your hand. Here, I am talking about love, that great power that will light your life from the inside out, even during its darkest, coldest moments.

Santa is a teacher, and I have been his student, and now you know the secret of how he gets down all those chimneys on Christmas Eve: he has help from all the people whose hearts he’s filled with joy.
With full hearts, people like Daddy and me take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible.

So, no. I am not Santa. Santa is love and magic and hope and happiness. I’m on his team, and now you are, too.

I really love this answer!

 

 

Back in the Kitchen

I think its safe to say Fall has arrived, the birds are back at the window feeders, the leaves are starting to fall to the ground and the night holds a chill.

I had the urge to pull out some canned pumpkin and do something with it, by something with it I mean "bake".  So off to Pinterest I went and started looking up recipes.  One of the ongoing challenges of my amputation is that for the two months that I was in hospital and then 3 months that followed I wasn't able to stand in my kitchen and prepare meals or bake treats which also means my pantry supplies are sadly lacking.  Happily I still had pumpkin sitting waiting for my return and I opted to make dog treats for my puppies, the first time I have baked anything for them since my surgery in January.  The kids were also on my list but when I went to grab some chocolate chips, the cupboard was bare...need to restock those little morsels of goodness.

I made a few jars of plum jam with the bounty off our backyard tree, I thought about making some fruit leather too but laziness got the better of me and I decided to just be happy with the jam.

From this do to that do

We have been fighting/scrapping/pleading with our son since hockey season ended in March to get a haircut.  I tried negotiation, begging and even bribing but to no end.  Finally this August while we were on holidays we succeeded in convincing him.  He walked into the Salon in a mood...pouting/angry/very unhappy with his parents but to my amazement he walked out with a smile on his face, even let us take a picture of the new do.  Said he wished we would have done this at the beginning of summer...hmmm...boys!

Before

 After

Now we are ready for hockey season again, too bad we skipped soccer season!

Honey, fresh fruit and excited teens

Today was a busy one.

My son had his "Move into High School" day at his new school, he got to load his locker up with his supplies and see his home room as well as where his classes will be this semester.  I am happy to see how excited he is to get back to school as he is not usually one who cares much for it.  He takes after me, doesn't really like school but goes because he has too.  So its encouraging to see him smile and want to take part in this first step before classes begin.

Last night we had a visit from our local neighbourhood bear and he was thoroughly enjoying the plums off of our tree in the backyard, to keep him from demolishing the tree and keep the conservation officers away we headed out to pick the tree clean, knowing full well our friendly (when hiding behind walls and windows) fruit eating fuzzy com padre will be back tonight if we don't.  I was pretty happy to see we actually had some plums this year as the last couple have been bad years, leaves were worm eaten and plums looked pretty sad.

Guess now I've got my work cut out for me trying to see what all I can make with them.

While out front waiting for my daughter to jump in the car for soccer practice I noticed this fellow working his little heart out...makes me wish to have my own backyard beehives...oh that's a dream for another day.

A New Beginning

It all started Wednesday May 20th, I was casted for my prosthetic leg, then on the following Monday I was booked in to see the Dr. in her Amputee Clinic at which point my leg was ready for me to try.  From there I did Physio for the rest of the week trying to get used to this new thing that I am now calling my leg.  It turns out that I was not going to just get a leg and begin walking unassisted as I had been assuming all this time.  Four months sitting on a couch waiting to be casted and ready for a leg takes a toll on the body and my residual limb is weak.  Daily strengthening will be part of my everyday life now as well as eating right, I've finally figured out that being weak isn't an option for me anymore.  The stronger I am the better I will do getting through the challenges that life will present me along the way.

I am now into my second week with my leg and I am trying to figure out a new routine...I am not supposed to wear it all day long but take it off every hour or so to check the skin and make sure it is not pressing into areas that will cause me pain. 

After all the trauma, tears and tantrums of the past 4 months I am finally able to see the light at the end of this tunnel and I feels wonderful.  I am once again up on two legs to take on this life and to make it the best I can, that part is all up to me now.

One Step Closer

The Wound Vac was taken off on Monday and like the true negative ninny I am before my appointment I didn't give it a thought, didn't want to be excited to think that today might be the day it came off and dismissed it altogether.  Thanks to reverse psychology it worked!  Yay!! 
What this does is puts me one step closer to my new life with a new leg...very happy!

One more week

Looks like my wound is healing well enough that I can stop using the VAC by Friday this week.  If that happens I could possibly be heading to rehab next week to be casted and start using a prosthetic leg!  This is good news indeed!

We were in Vancouver over the weekend and took the kids to Science World, they have a) never been to Vancouver before and b) thrilled to take in some of the sights of the big city.  I found getting around in my wheelchair to be a bit daunting and not overly fun but I did manage to get out to Chapters and one of the malls since it was connected to our hotel so not a lot of maneuvering so to speak.

I am finding the hardest part of this whole process, besides losing a limb, is how people will react to seeing me.  I have been stared at in the last few months more than I ever have in my life up to now and I guess that is the rub, I was once a normal average looking person and now all of a sudden I am different on the outside, the sad part is I am still me on the inside, I am still the person who once was a competitive swimmer, loved to camp with her family, loved to shop, to hike, to mountain bike, to downhill ski.  That is still me but that is not what people see anymore.  I do understand that people will always look at me differently but what I do with my life now is up to me and I will eventually get to that place in my own head where I am not bothered by people opening staring at me because I am surrounded by the love of friends and family and they are the ones who will always count.  And I plan to swim, camp, shop, hike, bike and ski again, it's a different path I am on but not one that will keep me from doing all that I what to do with this one life I have been given.

Off to Amputee Clinic

So today we pack up and head to Kelowna for my appt with the rehab doctor.  She will be the one deciding on when I can come back to be fitted for my new leg, which will require another two week stay at the hospital so that I can work with the physios everyday and learn to walk on my temporary leg.  Right now all I can focus on is not having that leg and everything that goes with not being able to get up and walk on two legs.  Since this whole process began it's been one set back after another with glimpses of light streaming through the darkness. 

1.  tried to save my leg - that failed
2.  staples were to come out on a Monday - came out on a Wednesday later that week
3.  stitches stayed in way longer than they should have and caused a lot of trouble when the time came to take them out (nurses struggled to get them out)
4.  wound on incision site would not heal and was discharged from hospital to go home and heal at 5 weeks post-op
5. 10 weeks post-op and the wound still not closing up
6. at 12 weeks post-op I was put on a wound VAC to help the healing process

Just some of the many set backs that have followed me through this ongoing trial called life and also the reason why I stopped trying to gauge when I would finally be up and walking.  At this point I can only hope it is sometime before summer is over.  And on that note I sign off and finish packing for the 4 hour trip ahead.

Here we go...

After a life altering trauma was doled out to me a few months ago, I have decided to start this blog to keep track of all the new and different and sometimes repetitive turns my life will take.
In two short days I went from a normal 45 year old downhill skier, mountain biker, mom of two kiddos, wife, friend, daughter and sibling, to a new reality that now consists of learning how to use one leg only.  I had the misfortune of losing my leg to a blood clot.  Although I am on track to be fitted and up walking on a prosthetic in the near future it doesn't feel near enough.  My complicated operation started with an attempt at saving that leg but when things failed to work the move to amputate came next.  With the three incisions along both sides of my knee and the one across the bottom where my leg and foot used to reside I have run into a wound that does not want to heal easily or quickly and this has set me back a few months

The waiting is the hardest part right now...waiting for a leg, waiting for my life to start again...just waiting on this wound to heal...


  And now my new journey begins wish me luck...